het gaat niet om 'alleen'
♪ ik ben compleet met jou Ԓ
Orientation = Marriage
But what about feelings?
Not by being forced, from some sort of subservience, but freely allowed and able to.
But what about feelings?
So choosing my husband means: finding the meaning, the value, in the relationship with my husband. And even more importantly: not maintaining feelings that I deny myself or deprive myself of (because that means: I'm missing something).
So choosing my husband means: finding the meaning, the value, in the relationship with my husband. And even more importantly: not maintaining feelings that I deny myself or deprive myself of (because that means: I'm missing something).
But what about feelings?
The understanding that 'a MOM is a process that must continue to unfold' is therefore very important to convey. As long as neither of you is at a point where you really want to be together, keep striving on that path forward. Until you reach that crossroad where things change. The result turned out to be a completely new situation for us...
For us that crossroad was just one simple remark, in a room full of people and about a completely different topic. But in me, that remark caused a chain reaction that completely put me on a different track. Like a small pebble causing an avalanche. From experience to insight.
But what about feelings?
The understanding that 'a MOM is a process that must continue to unfold' is therefore very important to convey. As long as neither of you is at a point where you really want to be together, keep striving on that path forward. Until you reach that crossroad where things change. The result turned out to be a completely new situation for us...
For us that crossroad was just one simple remark, in a room full of people and about a completely different topic. But in me, that remark caused a chain reaction that completely put me on a different track. Like a small pebble causing an avalanche. From experience to insight.
The understanding that 'a MOM is a process that must continue to unfold' is therefore very important to convey. As long as neither of you is at a point where you really want to be together, keep striving on that path forward. Until you reach that crossroad where things change. The result turned out to be a completely new situation for us...
For us that crossroad was just one simple remark, in a room full of people and about a completely different topic. But in me, that remark caused a chain reaction that completely put me on a different track. Like a small pebble causing an avalanche. From experience to insight.
Not by being forced, from some sort of subservience, but freely allowed and able to.
But what about feelings?
No rocket science, but making targeted and well-considered choices. Combined with the simple reasoning: if A is true, then step B is the consequence of it, at least when you want to stay true to who you are and want to be (= your total identity).
What I want to identify myself with encompasses so much more than just my sexuality; it encompasses what I want to convey, my children, my legacy of faith, values, trust. Most importantly my husband, the one with whom I and with whom I know myself to be complete. That is not something you pick up from culture and media. It's not anything like being 'forced' into it, out of a sort of subservience. No way, it's something I freely choose from my heart.
It is the pivot of being free to know who you are and what you want to stand for as a person.
The understanding that 'a MOM is a process that must continue to unfold' is therefore very important to convey. As long as neither of you is at a point where you really want to be together, keep striving on that path forward. Until you reach that crossroad where things change. The result turned out to be a completely new situation for us...
For us that crossroad was just one simple remark, in a room full of people and about a completely different topic. But in me, that remark caused a chain reaction that completely put me on a different track. Like a small pebble causing an avalanche. From experience to insight.
If you choose a MOM, that is the only fact that matters and has consequences based on that one (joint) decision to be able to (continue to) build on this (new) foundation.
But what about feelings?
So choosing my husband means: finding the meaning, the value, in the relationship with my husband. And even more importantly: not maintaining feelings that I deny myself or deprive myself of (because that means: I'm missing something).
That would mean holding onto what I didn't choose, hidden beneath the surface of the decision (= what I prefer), at the expense of...
Bottom line is that it seems like making a choice, but actually refusing to let go of what you didn't choose and subtly maintaining a void. Disobedient to yourself?
You don't make such a choice out of 'duty calls', but out of your drive/love to want to move forward together, isn't it? Don't give to others what you would never want to give to yourself.
But a choice (my preference is towards being together, husband and being married and not towards my preference for women) does have consequences: experiencing who we are allowed to be for each other and filling this together with creativity, openness, and transparency.
So towards a position: I don't deny myself anything, I know who I am, and I feel complete and content with that. What I want is that what I'm committed to.
That is the chosen direction because that is who I want to be: a married woman who loves her husband. Fact! And this is what I want to deal with, and with that fact alone.
It is remarkably liberating to choose to be in the freedom to make choices and to be aware of the power that it gives you. Choices and heartily knowing why they align with your person and are in accordance with the totality of who you are.
Here, a new mindset began to emerge based on what I wanted to follow and concluded was the right path to take, and... you may believe it or not, but largely based on quite ordinary logical thinking, where all gay scripts and religious nonsense and vague opinions went up in smoke. But also not denying that part of sexuality within myself. One does not exclude the other. I am allowed to be who I am.
I don't think God asks to walk around in a black dress, frustrated and deprived of happiness, bearing a heavy burden, that's not what the Bible is about at all. It's about truth, trust and love, and total acceptance and care. It's about wanting to deal with what is mine and entrusted to me in real, unadulterated sincerity. Not because I'm forced into it, out of a sort of subservience, but because I'm allowed and able to and convinced of freely,
All in all, it provides an image of a new foundation, or even identity, conviction, and well-considered choices of our marriage.
God doesn't ask you to walk around frustrated and deprived of happiness in a black dress, bearing a heavy burden.
But what about feelings?
But what about feelings?
But a choice (my preference is towards being together, husband and being married and not towards my preference for women) does have consequences: experiencing who we are allowed to be for each other and filling this together with creativity, openness, and transparency.
So towards a position: I don't deny myself anything, I know who I am, and I feel complete and content with that. What I want is that what I'm committed to.
That is the chosen direction because that is who I want to be: a married woman who loves her husband. Fact! And this is what I want to deal with, and with that fact alone.
But what about feelings?
But a choice (my preference is towards being together, husband and being married and not towards my preference for women) does have consequences: experiencing who we are allowed to be for each other and filling this together with creativity, openness, and transparency.
So towards a position: I don't deny myself anything, I know who I am, and I feel complete and content with that. What I want is that what I'm committed to.
That is the chosen direction because that is who I want to be: a married woman who loves her husband. Fact! And this is what I want to deal with, and with that fact alone.
But a choice (my preference is towards being together, husband and being married and not towards my preference for women) does have consequences: experiencing who we are allowed to be for each other and filling this together with creativity, openness, and transparency.
So towards a position: I don't deny myself anything, I know who I am, and I feel complete and content with that. What I want is that what I'm committed to.
That is the chosen direction because that is who I want to be: a married woman who loves her husband. Fact! And this is what I want to deal with, and with that fact alone.
But a choice (my preference is towards being together, husband and being married and not towards my preference for women) does have consequences: experiencing who we are allowed to be for each other and filling this together with creativity, openness, and transparency.
So towards a position: I don't deny myself anything, I know who I am, and I feel complete and content with that. What I want is that what I'm committed to.
That is the chosen direction because that is who I want to be: a married woman who loves her husband. Fact! And this is what I want to deal with, and with that fact alone.
But what about feelings?
Although it wasn't willful exclusion, I wasn't even aware of it... too focused on just my own 'sexual preference' and the resulting problem and difficulty. A progressing TUNNEL VISION.
That wall came down when I stopped looking at myself and started looking at us. No longer focusing on preference but on marriage. So no longer so strictly placing the issue of preference at the door of our marriage. The blinds in front of my field of view shifted in such a way that a different perspective emerged.
It encouraged a naturally and safe environment for both of us. Through a lot of open and honest communication together (recognizing, acknowledging, and drawing constructive conclusions together), not excluding forgiveness for the pain causing (perhaps unconsciously and unintentionally but still present) each other or neglected feelings. In which openness, acceptance, and clarification emerged. It created the where I could, and wanted to, allow what I had previously refused to let in. It created the space we both actually needed to share similar issues though from each our different perspectives.
As this unfolded and developed, feelings followed will and a joint path to choose.
God doesn't ask you to walk around frustrated and deprived of happiness in a black dress, bearing a heavy burden.
And the strange thing was... it revealed that it exactly matched and complemented with who I desired to be identified. Pursuing to be known as you want to be known, and where trust is not damaged. Where you want to give and may receive without reservation. Unexpectedly, but without doubt, a new genuine physical desire for love and intimacy sprang forth.
But what about feelings?
Although some may differ to typical heterosexual feelings and spark my fire, I thoroughly enjoy every aspect of our sexual relationship. And it certainly does not rule out passioned love 😊. Excitement, pleasure, and intimacy flow to where your heart desires are. Where you seek connection, depth, and fulfillment within the boundaries of your marriage with creativity and joy. For us, the aspect of 'preference' isn't an issue anymore. We accept each other as we are.
And the strange thing was... it revealed that it exactly matched and complemented with who I desired to be identified. Pursuing to be known as you want to be known, and where trust is not damaged. Where you want to give and may receive without reservation. Unexpectedly, but without doubt, a new genuine physical desire for love and intimacy sprang forth.
And the strange thing was... it revealed that it exactly matched and complemented with who I desired to be identified. Pursuing to be known as you want to be known, and where trust is not damaged. Where you want to give and may receive without reservation. Unexpectedly, but without doubt, a new genuine physical desire for love and intimacy sprang forth.
It is simply not true that a sexual relationship in a monogamous MOM is necessarily limited. Sure, sex in a MOM can be problematic, as we experienced ourselves, but it definitely can evolve further, and into much better.
LOVE is not a feeling but an act of your will.
Intimate feelings arise from choices made as well-considered decisions, based on deeply held beliefs of what is the right path. It is where your heart, your identity, your faith, and your dedication lie: what you have recognized, acknowledged, and accepted as truth.
If you choose a MOM, that is the only fact that matters and has consequences based on that one (joint) decision to be able to (continue to) build on this (new) foundation.